Friday, March 28, 2025

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End

My second favorite of the series, right after the initial movie

Such an epic fight scene at the end, and the culmination of the build up from movie 2!  Jack as usual is hilarious and clever, and Elizabeth also does very well in this one.  We see Captain Barbosa return as well, a very welcome addition compared to movie 2

The ending is a bit disappointing for Will and Elizabeth, but I suppose some realism can be better than a usual perfect Disney ending 

Other honorable mentions: Jack's dad, Norrington's repeated flip flopping, and Davy Jones returns as an absolutely terrifying villain

5 / 6 stars 

Movie Review: Eragon

Not as good as the books.  They hardly showed Eragon formally learning magic at all, and didn't invest enough time into the writing and pacing to make me love these people.  In fact, perhaps the most emotional bonding scene in the whole movie happens like 10 minutes in, between Eragon and his brother / cousin

The special effects are definitely a strong point, though.  And the soundtrack at the end is very nostalgic for me personally, as an Avril Lavigne fan

Still, overall, I can't recommend this adaptation that highly; please read the books instead 

3.5 / 6 stars

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Movie Review: Toy Story 3

Gosh do I have a lot to say about this one.  Much much more than the recent movies I felt were misses.  I do recommend you watch the Toy Story movies in order to have the best experience.  The movie is also the most emotional and powerful if you grew up with these characters, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it either way

I definitely was crying largely because I saw it in theaters for the first time, so if you can catch a rerun on IMAX, I highly recommend it.  2 didn't move me quite as much because of the visual effects, but there's a very emotional scene towards the end of 3 which was much more emotional on the big screen when I saw it the first time

Toy Story 3 won't be quite as emotional if you didn't watch the first two movies when you were a kid, though.  A lot of people my age cried when they saw it in theaters for the first time because we were all little kids when the first one came out, so we relate to Andy (he's like 5-11 in the first movie; he's the kid who owns all the toys who are the main characters).  And in this one he's 17 and going off to college, so he hardly ever plays with our friends anymore.  Woody is particularly attached to Andy, as you're used to, so this is especially hard for him

My favorite parts of Toy Story 3 besides the emotional hits from two scenes near the end are Bonnie, Lotso, Ken and Barbie (they're funny), and Spanish Buzz (also funny)

Alrighty so a basic synopsis so you know what you're getting into: Toy Story 3 is a children's movie released by Pixar, a studio started by John Lasseter, an animator who used to work at Disney until he got fired for repeatedly trying to make a 3-D movie.  Pixar is the incredibly successful fruit of that dream, many hours of blood sweat and tears from Lasseter, Ed Catmull, Andrew Stanton, Brad Bird, many others, and Steve Jobs' money.  Jobs had a few other contributions, but the main contribution was saving Pixar from financial ruin

Toy Story is the very first feature-length film from Pixar, and Toy Story 2 was their third.  So people are very invested in these movies, having grown up with these stories

Woody is Andy's oldest and/or favorite toy (it depends which movie, but I'd say Woody is his favorite, even over Buzz in the first movie).  He's also the de facto leader of all of Andy's toys.  This cowboy wrangles the cattle to work together, keep them informed, and always stay faithful to Andy, the boy he absolutely loves

Spoilers from the first two movies, though nothing about the major plot twists or endings:

The basic plot of the first Toy Story is that Andy gets a cool new space toy with flashing lights, a space suit, and wings for his birthday.  That toy is Buzz Light-year, an iconic cartoon sensation within the Toy Story cinematic universe, and all Buzz Light-years are born believing they are heroes saving the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, even when they (of course) cannot actually fly, shoot lasers, and can breathe regular Earth air without their space suits

Woody is jealous because Andy has a new favorite toy, and other hijinks ensue which are not that important to appreciating TS3

We also meet Slink, Bo Peep, Hamm, Mr. Potato Head, Rex in the first movie.  Slink is Woody's right hand man, who Potato Head calls a suck up.  He's just supposed to be Woody's dog; obviously your own dog is gonna be sycophantically in love with you more than most people would be.  As a utility for the group, Slink can also be tossed around over very great lengths, and will return to his normal size reliably.  So he ends up being a ladder a lot of the time

Bo Peep is Woody's love interest and friend, supporting him more than most of the toys do.  Tho I guess Potato Head and Buzz are the main toys that come into serious conflict with Woody.  She ends up having her feature movie in TS4, and does not show up in 3

Mr. Potato Head is a sarcastic character who has a few funny lines, Hamm is basically the same, but he is a piggy bank instead of a walking, talking potato (voiced by the Pixar-iconic John Ratzenberger, who has a role in every Pixar movie), and Rex is a neurotic cowardly dinosaur who usually just follows what the group wants.  In 2, we see Rex obsessed with video games.  He is also very funny, but less in a "what a comedian" kind of way and more in a "this guy is a prop for the group and we're laughing at him being funny unintentionally, or because of the situation.

And then in 2, we meet Jessie and Bullseye, who are characters in "Woody's Round Up", an old Western TV show that was popular before Andy was born.  Somehow no one in the TSCU recognizes Woody as a character from this cartoon outside of the second movie, whereas plenty of kids recognize Buzz Light-year in various movies

Anyway, I digress; Jessie is the cowgirl and Bullseye is Woody's trusty steed.  Bullseye is basically a Slink clone except he's physically a horse and can't talk.  He is extremely attached to Woody.  Barbie also shows up in this movie and/or 1 as Andy's little sister Molly's toy, though she plays a larger role in this one.  She and Ken are funny together, especially the part where she spouts off Constitution / DoI esque language

So at this point in the review, even if you read no further, when you watch 3, you will recognize and appreciate these characters.  Again, I recommend watching all of the movies in order, but at least this much synopsis and character description will help you follow this movie

One of my favorites of all time, probably top 10

5.8 / 6 Stars

Tuesday, March 18, 2025

Movie Review: Home Sweet Hell

They executed on this plot really well.  Katherine Heigl and the male lead both do their roles really well and got me emotionally invested, even as I was multitasking.

The new hire employee was also good at playing the young femme fatale, and she definitely got caught up in the wrong crowd.  Obviously it was partially her fault, but it was mostly those thugs she fell in with, Jesus Christ 

They did overdo the whole "you have to be a complete sociopath to succeed" message a bit, especially with the daughter.  But on the whole, they did very well

5.25 / 6 Stars

Monday, March 17, 2025

Movie review: Bull Durham

 A movie about two minor league baseball players, their groupie / coach's assistant, and a few ancillary chums, it basically just bored me.  The characters weren't particularly relatable, so the ups and downs of Crash and the team's fortunes didn't particularly have me invested

One thing I particularly disliked and didn't understand was how great Crash played and how underappreciated he was, largely because he didn't vouch for himself or hire an agent to help promote his excellent batting average and number of home runs

Again, not a huge fan.  You may certainly feel differently, though.  I'm not that big a fan of baseball

3 / 6 Stars

Movie review: 100 girls

This was like American Pie but less funny.  If you haven't seen American Pie, it's basically just softcore porn with the funny antics of Stiffler and a few other charming and relatable moments

2.5 / 6 Stars






Monday, March 10, 2025

Movie Review: The Graduate

Such a strange movie in so many ways!

It's hard to cheer for Ben, even though he's clearly the victim of Mrs. Robinson, more than vice versa.  He really treats Elaine a bit inhumanely, and the kid should get a job.  Their first date was filled with two odd moments to look out for

Another movie glorifying Romanticism and impulse, like Good Will Hunting

The soundtrack is amazing; so many hits from Simon and Garfunkel

3.5 / 6 stars 

Movie review: Good Will Hunting

This rewatch just upset me with how mental illness and Will's rejection of so many great job offers is portrayed.  He also is portrayed like so many successful STEM folks in movies; everything is effortless and he's allowed to be an ass to people regularly because he's seen as a demigod

This happens in countless biopics glorifying famous scientists, mathematicians, and founders.  Steve Jobs (the Fassbender one), The Social Network, A Beautiful Mind.  I understand if makes for dramatic cinema.  And of course abnormally intelligent and successful people can be mean.  But most days they're just people

And yeah of course we're supposed to feel bad for Will because trauma, but real people react to trauma in many different ways: crying, introversion, paranoid fear that mostly doesn't hurt anyone else...

Gosh and they do that other trope where it's so effortless for him.  Plenty of geniuses only know their field with any depth.  Will randomly remembering obscure detailed Southern antebellum facts and organic chemistry is a bit much

I still liked the effort they put in; Robin Williams' character is very very likable, and there are a few great jokes, one of which equitably goes to Minnie Driver being one of the guys in the bar.  Robin and Will definitely have a deep friendship that "Mr. Fields" can't parallel

SPOILER ALERT:

But perhaps it's the ending that's always really rubbed me the wrong way; we're meant to cheer for Will's choice?!  He could have at least lined up a job on the West Coast before spontaneously throwing his life into disarray.  Very common in American movies to glorify love, impulse, and rugged individualism instead of sensible decisions

Despite all my criticism, I do enjoy most of the movie.  It gives us STEM folks more visibility and was really put together skillfully.  There are just enough decisions to dislike, and it upset me.  But I laughed, and certainly felt things

4.0 / 6 Stars

Sunday, March 2, 2025

Favorite Movie, TV, Book, YouTube films, other story, etc. ratings

Comedy: Napoleon Dynamite, Harold and Maude, Ant Man 2, Inside Out 2, Mean Girls, Shrek 2, One Piece, Hercules, The Ringer, Mulan, Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, The Incredibles, Jackie Chan Adventures, That’s So Raven

Tragedy / Drama: My Dinner with Andre, Breaking Bad, House of Cards, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Galileo, Madoka Magica, Hi Score Girl, Harry Potter 6 and 7, Animorphs, I Claudius, Death Note, Up

Romance: About Time, 50 First Dates, 21 Dresses, Hi Score Girl, everything by Meg Cabot, but particularly “Teen Idol” and “Avalon High”

Sci-Fi / Fantasy: Avengers: Infinity War, Star Wars, Obi Wan Kenobi, Harry Potter, Ender’s Game, Lord of the Rings, Eragon, Cornelia Funke, Artemis Fowl, Septimus Heap (Magyk, Flyte, etc.), Children of the Mind, Star Trek (the early 2000s film), Code Lyoko

Action: Dragon Ball Z, Iron Man 2, Cobra Kai, The Godfather, Jackie Chan Adventures

Mystery: Loki, Death Note, The Cat Who

Horror: Squid Game, Breaking Bad

I was just listening to Brandon Sanderson, so a lot more paper novels and YA made it on here than if I had just been listening to Alex Addams or Cinema Therapy


Movie Review: Napoleon Dynamite

I’m just leaving this one here to get my juices flowing for future days.  I’ve seen it at least 10 times, one of my all time favorites

If I had to sum it up in a few words, ND is hilarious, goofy, campy, and heart-warming. 

It has a similar style of humor to the Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell movies in that era.  Vote for Pedro!

5.9 / 6 Stars

Movie Review: Mean Girls (2024)

Just nowhere near as good as the original.  Would probably be a 4 / 6 if not for the fact that it’s remaking such a classic 

I did like the modifications of the original iconic lines; they were definitely still trying.  Sequels are hard 

2.5 / 6 Stars

Movie Review: Mean Girls (2004)

The original Mean Girls is so iconic.  Everyone my age can quote this movie; Gretchen, Karen, Regina, Janis, Damian, Kevin Gnapoor, Mrs. George, Mrs. Norbury, Cady, Aaron Samuels, Mr. Duvall, and even Coach Carr and the feelings girl are all so iconic

I hate to put Cady so low on this list, but she’s just so bland compared to the other characters.  She has a few funny lines, but mostly she, Mrs. Norbury, and Aaron are there for serious plot points.  They play the straight men to Regina and Janis’ drama queens, and Karen and Kevin’s ridiculousnesses.

My favorite moments:

Gretchen falling on the gym floor during the trust falls

“You can’t like your friend’s ex!  That’s just, like, the rules of feminism”

“Oh my god Danny Devito I love your work!” in the middle of the women’s restroom

The montage of everyone gossiping about and worshiping Regina

“You might think you like someone.   But you could be wrong”

“Wait but if you’re from Africa, why are you white?”

“I have a fifth sense.  It’s like I have ESPN or something!”

Mr. Duval slowly raising his hand after Mrs. Norbury asks the whole gym “how many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?”

The global popularity of this movie is only further emphasized by how much worse every remake is.  Mean Girls 2 even gets a few kudos points for sending the main character off to Carnegie Mellon afterwards, but it’s just nowhere near as funny or as mean. Rachel McAdams’ real Regina George was the main difference.  I could easily picture myself getting humiliated by McAdams, and the remakes’ performances are just nowhere near as brutal.  She always gives me flashbacks to the coolest bullies in middle school

Hard to beat!

5.8 / 6 Stars

Movie Review: Kim Possible

This felt like a cash grab. We all love Kim Possible and making a live action version was another way to get people excited about the cartoon, probably sell a few toys, etc.

At least they got the voice of Ron right, and the overall plot felt very standard KP.  But idk, it just didn't feel motivated by the genuine urge to tell a new story and do a good job

The new best friend plot was so over the top; no one would get an award at a new school so early.  We get it haha, she’s just like Kim but better

I also didn’t feel that bad for Kim on her first day of school; of course we’ve all been late to class before, but it’s not like she was failing out of class or laughed at by everyone for missing a basic word in the spelling bee.  I’m sure theres some die hard dan of the Kim Possible live action movie somewhere, but for me, this was a miss

3.0 / 6 Stars